You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
