I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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