Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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