my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize