Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize