ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
