Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize