woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
how does that bad decision feel?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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