Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
