Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
