ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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