she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize