only if we run a train.
done.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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