was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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