Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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