so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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