her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
