I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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