Swine flu is the new snow day.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
