rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
