what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
