you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
