i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
