Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
