a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
