im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
