I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
