what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
