This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't think brook has ever known best
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
