So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
