You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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