he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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