So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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