I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize