Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
