She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
