Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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