I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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