if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
