i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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