I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
