It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
