Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
