Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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