the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
