Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
