I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
