Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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