i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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