i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
