mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
