I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
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Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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