I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
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Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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