You really coming over, don't trick.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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