If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
