why didn't you poke me back
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize