Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
