Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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